What Molly Did

Some of us are lucky enough to have made a friend for life. Perhaps when you were young, you were inseparable and you’ve maintained that special friendship throughout adulthood. Or maybe you didn’t meet your friend until much later, during adulthood, but you just knew that they were special, that you always wanted them to stay in your life. Unfortunately we lose friends along the way too, we all walk our individual paths and sometimes those paths become so wide apart that we just don’t stay in touch, friendships can fade as life’s journey carries on. There doesn’t need to be a big argument that ends it all, friendship can just fade away. We are all busy and often in different ways. It can be hard to understand, appreciate and even accept why someone is too busy for you, but we should all try to.

There are friendships where you do understand how busy their lives are, where you forget to send a quick message and check in and where you never seem to find a time that suits you both to meet up, but where none of that really matters. You are there for each other in a shot, when it’s needed. No guilt, no accusations, just a mutual understanding of how time is taken up doing other things. Now those, to me, are the very best friendships to have. They are the really special ones. When the time finally comes when you can meet up, it’s as though you’ve never been apart. There’s a lot to catch up on and it’s great to finally spend that time in each other’s company.

When Martin died I found myself surrounded by best friends, the best of friends I could have asked for. I can only look back at them all at that time with huge grateful fondness. Unforgettable friendships, unforgettable kindness. They were there, for me and for my children, every step of the way. They came to his funeral, for me, they came back to the house that evening and made sure that I laughed, that I spent the evening in good company and that I didn’t feel alone. They made life normal again just with their presence and they never stopped showing that they cared. But even those friendships faded with time. I probably didn’t give back as much as they gave to me, I probably did a lot of things wrong, but never intentionally. When life became easier, when I met Jon and moved forward, my life became busier and my friendships faded. I can feel saddened by how my life with those friends has changed, because in that moment, sat in the kitchen of my new house the night of Martin’s funeral, drinking, laughing and listening to music, I believed that I was surrounded by life long friends. 

I met Molly when I went to primary school, the very first time I walked into that daunting little school, when I was probably 4 years old and Mol was 5. Molly was assigned the job of showing me around. All I know is that she was my friend and she still is. Lovely, super kind, super clever Mol. I wasn’t always particularly nice to my childhood best friend, especially when the teenage years were in full swing. I feel quite ashamed looking back at the way I would behave. I took her for granted, my sulky childish self not realising ever that my behaviour was very trying, even to the very patient Molly. She had had enough and she let it be known. I was heartbroken and hit with the realisation that actually, I wasn’t particularly nice. She stood her ground for what felt a lifetime, i think it was pretty long, maybe a year or more, before finally she let me back in. We were friends again and I couldn’t have been more grateful. My fondest memories of my younger days are of Molly and her family and the time spent at their house with them.

Molly was there, the day of the funeral and the evening, she was one of those that I believed was a friend for life. Molly was there every time I needed a friend and she still is.

What Molly did, was to teach me the true meaning of friendship. She accepts me for all that I am; all of my faults, my bad choices, my silly mistakes, my ridiculous attitudes. She sees the best qualities I have and doesn’t let them hide in the shadows of the bad ones. She always has an educated, sensible, non-judgmental and positive view on things. She cares and I can rely on her. She is loyal. We don't see each other as often as we should, we don't even message as often as we could, but I am never made to feel that that makes our friendship any less valuable. 

Molly is the kind of friend that we all need in life, for life.


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