Every Cloud

We’ve had a run of bad luck. Over the last couple of months life has been really tough and it seemed that everything was going horribly wrong. One thing after another. We were stressed, we were tired and definitely fed up. But the sun carried on shining, the whole time. Glorious lovely sun shine.

Jon’s suffered more than us. He’s suffered the most. He’s been in excruciating pain with a nasty knee injury, two injuries in fact, on the same knee. He’s had nights of no sleep, he’s had days of not being able to move, he’s been admitted into hospital. He’s struggled every single day for the last couple of months. He started to lose that sparkle, that lovely smile was beginning to fade, there were times when I witnessed him feeling broken. He told me that’s how he felt one night and his words broke my heart. My lovely shining ‘Jonny Rainbow’ lost his sparkle and I lost my hope a little.

Jon is the bread winner in this house, I don’t work - I haven’t done since the night before I discovered Martin had had an affair. I couldn’t work, I had a life to rebuild and two little girls to care for. When I met Jon and Jon moved in with us I didn’t want to go back to being a working mum. It was one of the many things he accepted. His life changed completely when he became part of our family, no more disposable income and a lot of bills to pay.

Jon hasn’t been able to work for the last couple of months. The company he works for have not been supportive and have left us, a family of five, reliant on others to help financially. Thank goodness for those ‘others’. There were many acts of kindness that helped us get by, many messages of support and offers of help - they restored our faith in people, at a time when we really needed that faith restored. I can’t imagine how Jon must have felt, not being able to provide for his family. But I could see how it felt. And I know how I felt myself about needing help from others. Breaking down in tears over school trip payments and not being able to buy a pint of milk. But those wonderful friends of ours and our truly beautiful members of family made sure that our fridge and cupboards were full. And more. The children have been able to attend after school clubs, parties and play dates thanks to everybody’s kindness.

On Monday of this week Jon finally had his knee operation, he was actually excited to go to the hospital! My dad drove him there and was told by my mum not to be corny when he said the words ‘This is the first day of the rest of your life.’ Perhaps it was corny, but never was there a truer word spoken. When Jon was recovering in the hospital he switched on his phone to be alerted to an answer phone message. He returned that call the next day. He was offered a job, a job he really wanted. A job closer to home, walking distance in fact, a job with a start date that gives his knee plenty of time to recover, a job that means his sick note covers his notice at his current job and so he never has to set foot in their branch again, a branch that has let him down in such a way that his sparkle began to fade. I cannot type the words to express how happy I am. How happy we are.

I am so proud of my little family. Proud of my boy for standing up for himself, for doing the right thing and for being brave enough to start over again. I’m so proud to see that sparkle back. I’m proud of my children, my children who haven’t been able to leave the house for a day out with mummy and daddy for what feels like forever. I’m proud of them for accepting and understanding our financial difficulties, for appreciating everything they do have. I’m proud of them for their smiling faces and laughter, for their constant love and support. I’m proud of them for the beautiful little people that they are.

When we booked our wedding venue at the end of last year I knew that 2018 was going to be our year. There was a moment, only a few weeks ago, that I found myself shedding a tear remembering that statement. But then, I really thought about it. We have been put under huge pressure, a massive strain, we have been incredibly unhappy and yet not once did we lose faith in each other. Not once. No arguments, no bad feelings, just supportive and full of love. To me, that’s a big achievement, that’s an achievement of a couple who’s year is 2018, the one they’ll end as husband and wife. This year is our year.

Still the sun shines brightly. Every cloud has a silver lining.


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