My Big Sister

There is one person in my life who I know always has my back. I can be 100% sure that they have, I often say I that don’t trust many people anymore, but there is one person I would trust with my life. There is one person who has consistently shown me what it means to be loyal.

When I found out that Martin had been having an affair my whole world came crashing down. What an earth was I going to do? Without a second thought, it was my big sister that I grabbed my phone to call. My big sister fixes everything, she always has done.

My big sister is exactly ten years and a week older than I am. This age gap gave a very young me another mother type figure. It was my big sister who I read to, it was my big sister who spent time playing with me, it was my big sister who helped me to make things. I loved her, she was ace. But then she left home and left me behind and, well, she annoyed the hell out of me every time she visited. With her opinions and bossy ways, she wasn’t my mum! As the years went by it was obvious to me that she was a lot closer to my siblings than she was to me, I hated it if I’m honest. But I didn’t help matters, I wasn’t the nicest young adult!

In the moment of discovering the affair, in the moment of devastation, of hurt, of tummy hurting type of anger, of fear, of body shaking type of shock, it was my big sister that I phoned. It was my big sister that first reassured me that everything would be ok, that ‘we’ would sort it. That phone call, that instinct to reach out to her, that told me as an adult, that my big sister was my rock.

‘We will sort it, you will be fine.’ She was right, although, she sorted most things for me to be fine. My big sister, super intelligent and practical. Ever since we moved here, closer to my big sister, she has picked me up - every single time that I’ve stumbled (and I have stumbled a lot of times). She is fiercely protective of me and my children and I love that. She fixes everything, for all of us, always. She is loyal, so very loyal and I can’t begin to tell you how comforting that can be, just to know that she is always there. 

It is true when they say that you hurt the ones you love. My poor big sister gets the brunt of my bad moods and frustration. My poor big sister just takes it too. She hasn’t had an easy life, there are times when this super clever, funny and practical woman needs fixing herself. She’s so busy looking after everybody else that sometimes we are all guilty of not looking after her. It’s a funny one, I think sometimes she needs a cuddle too, yet she would be completely weirded out if I put my arm around her. So I just stick to calling her names and being unkind. I’m pretty sure that she loves that!

It is one week until my birthday today and I want my sister to know that she is my best friend and I would be completely lost without her. She has saved me, time and time again. I want her to know that she is all of the unkind names that I call her often as well as the kindest, most level headed, most genuine, sometimes funny and an incredibly important person in my life. My big sister is ace and I love her.


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